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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27279706">The Harsh Truth</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ruquas/pseuds/Ruquas'>Ruquas</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel Cinematic Universe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Depressed Bucky Barnes, Depression, M/M, WinterHawk Bingo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 16:33:43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>582</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27279706</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ruquas/pseuds/Ruquas</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Just because Bucky knew that he didn't deserve Clint it didn't meant he was willing to just let it go.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James "Bucky" Barnes/Clint Barton</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Winterhawk Bingo Round Two</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Harsh Truth</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This fic was written for the WinterHawk Bingo B2 - Harsh Truth</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bucky just sat there and looked at nothing. </p><p>Okay, that wasn’t true, because it was impossible to look at nothing. But he tried, just like he tried to ignore that he couldn’t stand up to turn on the light.</p><p>Just like he tried to ignore the shattered remains of his apartment. Like he tried to ignore the empty feeling in his chest.</p><p>He waited. Waited for Clint to come home. For Clint to turn on the light. To make Bucky look somewhere else than into the darkness, probably the wall. He waited for Clint to get out a trash bag to throw everything away that couldn’t be saved. To collect everything that could be saved. </p><p>Just like he had done the last time. And the time before that. Just like Clint did everytime when Bucky couldn’t control himself. When Bucky couldn’t control the monster. When Bucky didn’t know how to act out whatever was stuck in his head.</p><p>Which didn’t make it easier. Everything. Nothing. Clint shouldn’t need to do that. He shouldn’t need to clean up after Bucky. Bucky was a grown up man after all. Just because he couldn’t pull his shit together didn’t mean that someone else had to do it for him.</p><p>Except, it did. Because without Clint, Bucky didn’t know if he could survive. Or, no. He could survive. He just didn’t know if it would be outside of a maximum high security prison. Or somewhere where he could sleep with both eyes shut. </p><p>Probably not. </p><p>But the truth was, that was what should happen. The truth was that Clint shouldn’t care for Bucky. Because one day, Bucky maybe wouldn’t be able to contain himself. Would destroy Clint, too. Or hurt him.</p><p>Bucky didn’t want that. Didn’t want Clint to care. But at the same time, he did. He needed Clint. Loved Clint.</p><p>The door opened. A few seconds of silence before Clint turned on the lights on a lower setting, smiling at Bucky, ignoring the chaos.</p><p>“Hey! Everything okay or do you need to be a bit alone some more?”</p><p>Bucky wanted to cry. But he couldn’t. Hadn’t done that in a long time. To be truthful, he didn’t even know if he still could.</p><p>Instead of speaking, Bucky just shook his head, tilting his head a bit when Clint came over and pressed a light kiss on his forehead. Relishing in the touch. Trying to burn that feeling into his mind. Just in case.</p><p>“Great. I got chinese. I’m just going to throw away the things in front of the TV. Is the remote still working?”</p><p>Bucky shrugged and Clint started to talk again. Just mindless chatter, nothing Bucky needed to follow. Just something for Bucky’s mind to latch onto. Bucky was thankful for that. And hated it. Hated Clint a bit for doing that, even though the other man had told him more than once that it was okay. That Bucky hadn’t known Clint in his worst time of life where his apartment had looked the same.</p><p>It still didn’t matter. Bucky didn’t deserve Clint. Didn’t deserve the soft touches. The light kisses. The food Clint brought him that Bucky often couldn’t keep down on days like this.</p><p>The harsh truth was that Bucky would deserve to be alone out there. He had done enough to deserve it.</p><p>The even harsher truth was that he knew he wouldn’t make it one single day without seeing Clint smile just because Bucky got out of bed.</p>
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